Plagiarism

self portrait, with teeth, no thumbs

Dear Diary,

I just wanted to let you know that we have our own byline and the human has been claiming credit for it. For quite some time, she has been submitting our articles and using our name and telling people she wrote the stuff.

I am here to set the record straight. She does not do any of the writing except the stuff that requires opposable thumbs, like this note. Lulu and I, well, really me. I think up this stuff and get it all formed in my head and then I write it all out.

I am taking online courses that teach you how to master the keyboard without thumbs, so in no time at all I will personally be submitting the work and the human will have to be satisfied with picking up poop.

Just wanted to set the record straight. Now. Can someone open the treat jar? Why do they make those things so you need thumbs!!!

Sincerely,

Phoebe

Happy Birthday Lulu!

Dear Diary,

Today I am 5. Apparently I have a few gray hairs, but little do the humans know that I have already made an appointment at the salon for a little color rinse. I DO know how to use the internet, after all. You don't have to call for an appointment!

Other than that, and my pesky sister, I am sure that turning 5 is not a big deal. I expect that they will host a very big party soon, although I have yet to see the invitations. Perhaps I will have to order them myself.

But, it is business as usual. A little nap, followed by a siesta in the sunshine, followed by a snack and then followed by a chair nap. Sounds good to me.

Happy birthday to me!

Love, Lulu