Hello Phoebe! Give Me My Credit Card Back!

Dearest Diary,

Nah nah nah nah. Lulu is sleeping so I got a turn. I hear (read) that lulu thinks my book is 10 whole pages but it is not! It is 12 pages because she forgot the table of contents and the last page which is just plain paper that smells really good. That makes it 12 whole pages. The biggest book lulu told me she ever read was 9.5 pages long! It is the same book as mine. (thinking, thinking). Hey! Wait a minute!

Anyway, yesterday was so much fun. I taught my mom how to go outside. It was really really easy. I thought she would be hard to train cause she is a human, but it turns out she is pretty smart. For a human. Here is my trick. I never ever ring the bells. I let lulu do that and she is always getting in trouble for ringing them too much.

This is how I shaped the trick. (I learned that reading Easy Tricks to Train Humans who are Old and Slow and Drink a lot after 4PM, by Bayard Baloney)

First, I sigh out loud and then do a cute little bow making sure she can see me. Next, I jump up near where my mom is sitting and I bounce like it is a trampoline. Then I bow and if I had a tail I would wag it, but since I don't I just wiggle. Then I do this really cute little loud sigh that I know she just loves. And every single time, she will look at me. How good is that? She trains so easily. Then I woof a little bit. Not too loud. Just enough. I pause and wait and if she looks away (she is so not getting a treat if she looks away) I start all over again. It doesn't take more than two times now and she gets it!

She will ask if I have to go out and then she opens the door. I wait. That's the trick. Wait for it. Waaaaaait. Yep! Every. Single. Time. She goes out first and then I follow. I get her to go outside! Am I good or what?

Next time I think I will try clicker training her. I hear that gets really fast results. I wonder where I can buy clickers to train humans? Hey! I'm already online. I still have her credit card number and lulu knows our address. I bet I can order more balls too. Cool!

Later diary. And shhhh. Don't tell anyone I was here.

Two paws up,

Pheebs